If someone is incontinent, is it rude or unreasonable to ask them to wear Depends when they visit?

My mother-in-law visited us last week and accidentally peed on our couch but didn't tell us until the next morning. She covered it up with blankets and pillows and only came clean when we woke up in the morning to our living room stinking of pee. Then she confessed that she had an accident overnight on our guest bed too. We said that's fine, that's why there's a protector on it. Well didn't she take the protector off because she didn't like how it made the bed feel. She refused to clean things up because she says she has no control over her body and pee is sterile so just let it dry. I said no, you clean up your mess! That's not fair for you to leave it for me and my husband.

It turns out she's been peeing herself for almost a month but refuses to wear Depends or even see her doctor. She doesn't know she has to go until she's already going. She has no control. She can sit on a toilet but nothing happens. She just pees herself multiple times a day all day and she thinks that because she can't help it, it's all perfectly fine.

My husband and I bought a thing of Depends for her but she won't wear them because she says it's degrading. We told her that unless she wears them, we're not inviting her back because cleaning up multiple pees a day from an adult is not acceptable. We've already had to throw out a couch and a mattress which could have been avoided if she was wearing Depends.

She told us that we're being rude and not taking her feelings into account or her dignity. I told her that it's incredibly rude and degrading of her to knowingly pee all over my house (and hide it) and ruin multiple pieces of expensive furniture. She says that she understands but she can't help it. My husband and I told her that she can help it though: she can wear Depends and clean up her own pee.

So in light of the whole story: are we being unreasonable?

PS: We haven't been to her house since this started so I have no clue what it's like. She has puppy pads on her car seat though so I can only imagine what her house is like.