Handling a judgy Parent…want to feel like an equal

I called and asked my mom a few days ago if she wants to go out today with me and the kids to this really big park. She agreed and when I went to pick her up, she says we don’t have to go out so far, we can just go out in our town. (She has done this many times before where she just goes, let’s just stay home)

I said no, we planned this with the kids and they are looking forward to it. It irritates me and brings the mood down. Then I went to pay for just us adult tickets to enter the park. And she was shocked you have to pay and kept on saying how expensive, and complains everything costs money. I told her to stop talking about this and just enjoy the day. Then, at some point she tells me not to spend extra money on my family vacation - every single time she sees me been saying that. Then, I tell her how an acquaintance we both know is moving for love to another city and she immediately says, she’s probably lying. I find my mom is either talking a lot of judgy negativity or just trying to constantly tell me what to do. I’m 40 now and I find that it’s a trigger for me because my parents have been strict and overbearing and I feel like she’s here lecturing a 15 year old me instead of her talking TO Me as an adult. I’m not a spender and I got no bad habits, my life with husband and kids are wonderful and all I want for my parent is to talk to me like an adult, even say to enjoy my family vacation. I don’t tell her what to do with her finances or anything else. And so even though I’d love to spend more time with my mother but it feels like I’m drained afterwards and feel bad . I just don’t know HOW to let go of this need for her to treat me like an equal?!!!