Did your parents spank you?

Question

My Mom sometimes spanked my brothers but didn’t spank me. But I was well behaved so I didn’t really do anything that would have caused her to spank me. My dad yelled at me once when I was three for causing the toilet to flood the bathroom and I cried and he never did it again because he hated that he made me cry. My stepmom spanked all 5 of her kids (more abusively than my mom did, my mom did the whole don’t spank while angry leave the room then dish out the consequence while my stepmom was a crazy witch). I don’t want to be a family that spanks our kids. My husband was spanked and I’m not sure it did him any good though he thinks it did. 
Were you spanked? If so how did you turn out as a person? How is your relationship with your parents? Did you and do you respect and honor them? Do you or did you spank your children? Do they respect you? If your children are adults how are they now? 
A lot of people are going to say that spanking is abuse so maybe just try to leave that out of your response because it will get so redundant.

Answer

No was never spanked neither wete any of my 4 siblings. Just like I don't spank my kids because it doesn't do shit and teaches them nothing. Billy hit his brother so dad spanks him as punishment...ummm make that make sense. The solution to not keeping your hands to yourself is to not keep your hands to yourself. Spanking "works" by either scaring your kid or hurting your kid...so no. I was taught to talk through issues and use my words and coping mechanisms when needed because that is what you need to do as an adult. I was very well behaved as were my siblings. My kids have never been spanked and are also very very well behaved. Spanking is lazy shit parenting that doesn't teach anything but solve your issues by putting your hands on them

Answer

Yes my parents spanked. Didn't fix any behavior, me.and my brother just got a lot better at hiding things and lied more to not get spanked. While they used it as people say is the right way I always felt like I couldn't go to them if I got in trouble or had an issue because never knew if the response would be a talk or if that was a spanking issue so just didn't. I would go and talk to my aunt instead. Still love my parents but doesnt mean I didn't wish I didnt get spanked. Husband was spanked (with a hand and a wooden spoon as was common back then) and he had real issues with regulation of emotions and got angry fast. He did therapy and it helped a lot. That said we have never struck our kids ever. We thankfully live in a country now after leaving the states that spanking is illegal and considered child abuse so none of my kids friends parents do either. Hitting your kid isn't parenting which is why you dobthat to an adult and it's assault.

Answer

I was spanked as a child but not nearly as bad as my brothers were. I think we all turned out okay. I don't respect my parents any less for it. I have a toddler and a baby now, and I'm not sure whether I want to use spanking as a form of discipline. It feels kind of wrong to me, but I know it can be an effective tool if used properly. I did swat my toddler one time after she did something bad to "try it out," and I felt ick (I didn't hit her hard, but she was surprised by it and cried). Sorry my response is a bit all over the place. I'm just so unsure about it.

Answer

You can’t leave out the truth because it’s redundant. 
Hitting your child is never the answer. It’s not how adults operate so why would you hit your kids?
It teaches them to fear you, and to hit. It’s abuse.

Answer

I was never spanked as a child unless it was for redirection vs punishment and I am the same. By redirection I mean my eldest son kept reaching for the hot plate on the stove he was warned many times about the danger. I smack his hand away once and told him it was hot and he would get burnt he never did it again. He was my only child I smacked and he’s now 21 and we have a good relationship the same is said with all of my children ( I have 8 children). My eldest daughter will ring me every afternoon to tell me about her day at work and I also call my mother every single day, she is my best friend. My husband was smacked and abused, he only has a relationship with his sister and grandfather. It took a lot of work for him to not respond to situations with smacking and it’s something he still struggles with not reacting with smacking. My  parenting style would be more gentle parenting, we reward good behaviours and punishments reflect the behaviour, this could be a time out, reflection, writing letters of apology, time limits, or removal of items, by that I mean if they were to throw a toy they have now lost that toy until the end of the day

Answer

I wasn’t spanked, my husband was. I turned out fine (I think) and so did he. Career wise we both have/had (SAHM now) very successful jobs. I was a very good kid and he was a major trouble maker… 
To our kids we don’t spank. Have we a few times? Yes. Do we use that as THE way to educate them and show right from wrong as my husbands parents used to? No There’s lots lots of talking, we talk to them like they’re adults. We don’t do baby talking and mainly our tone sets precedent. So they know what they’re doing is not the thing they’re suppose to be doing. They get warnings, explanations of why they need to stop the silly thing they’re doing, ect (I have a lot of patience I’ve come to find out). Anyways if you give any of my kids a spank they literally laugh in your face so what’s the point. Just saying the phrase “time out” works like magic and they listen. They’re also children so they can’t be getting constant reprimands for any little thing… what’s the fun in being kids otherwise.
During child speech therapy sessions I was taught to make their room or any other space in the house a safe space where they couldn’t be at risk of any accidents, when there’s a need to discipline you send them there and set an expectation of time and explain the why this is happening. That has made a world of a difference when teaching them right from wrong. Spanks I don’t think they teach anything and although I don’t think it should be the go to we are humans and if you do spank your child one time doesn’t make you or them a failure instantly. My husband doesn’t think about getting spank not it bothers him now as an adult. I love my parents and respect them and so does he however… we only have a relationship with my dad.
My mom is very disrespectful and hateful to my family and his parents are worse. We don’t play with our family’s happiness and peace. 
When your time comes you and your husband will figure out the right way for YOU guys to accomplish being the best parents to your children.

Answer

Besides the countless amount of studies that show spanking does more harm than anything….. besides the fact that you don’t go around spanking adults that aren’t behaving…. Besides the fact that there are thousands of other non violent ways to teach children how to behave and act…. It doesn’t matter if someone “turned out fine” or if they “respect their parents” more because of that. It’s wrong and it’s lazy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I wasn’t spanked nor was my husband and we don’t hit our son either! Because that’s exactly what spanking is that a CHILD is being HIT by a ADULT. It’s abuse.

Answer

I was, but I think I can count on one hand how many times it was growing up, and I’d say 99% of the time I didn’t listen and got a few pops. But it taught me lmao, Now my brother got it more, but he was more stubborn and hard headed. As we grew older it was less spankings and more so grounding and take our stuff away along with conversations. 
But yes, now I’m 26 and have a great relationship with my parents. I have a good life as an adult, and honesty we had a great childhood, we never had a want for anything our parents provided very well. While I don’t think the spankings helped shape me into the adult I am today, I just think the way I was raised did that. 
Now as an adult, I do not think I will ever spank my children.

Answer

Yes I was spanked. I wouldn’t spank my children.

Did your parents spank you?

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