3 years since abortion

The world can be a cruel place when you’re already hard on yourself for a decision/mistake you made. I’m forever grateful for my 2 sons. But there’s a void that will never be filled. I hate myself everyday for it. Found God, I know he says to forgive. But I can’t seem to forgive myself. Knowing what Jesus did for our sins, I don’t feel worthy of forgiveness. If I didn’t have my kids I’d probably be gone too 😭 I wish I knew better, I wish I had someone to tell me not to do it. Until we meet again baby angel.