How do I deal with nerves?

Question

Hi everyone so I’m a ftm currently 4w5d pregnant and I cant calm my nerves. I have an anxiety disorder so it’s to be expected but I’m trying so hard to control my emotions and all the stress reducing hobbies I usually do just aren’t working. This baby wasn’t planned and I didn’t expect to be pregnant. I am so excited to be a mom and Im so grateful to be pregnant but because of that excitement i’m also scared of losing it. My boyfriend is great and so supportive but I don’t want to keep telling him how nervous/scared I am. Ive had a loss before so Im just impatiently waiting to get to the first dr appt and past the first trimester but everyday feels like 10000 hours. I work an office job so even at work I just sit with my thoughts and at home it’s even worse. I know I need to calm down but I have no clue how, I’m also so terrified of not making it through the first trimester that I don’t want to buy any baby things or start planning for a baby until I know its healthy. Please any advice would be appreciated or anyone who’s going/gone through something similar would be so appreciated!

Answer

I am right at the same spot you’re in. It can definitely be nerve racking. For me it helps to pray, I also take daily tests to watch my line progression which helps some but not everyone.

Answer

I also struggle with anxiety, but the things that help me the most are prayer and gratitude. It's impossible to feel better by telling myself I have to stop being anxious; it only makes me stress out about the fact that I can't control it. When I notice that it's building, I take a minute to give it to God, and then I start focusing on making a list of things that I am grateful for. Big, small, tiny, even silly, ridiculous things. I find that it distracts me from worrying. I've heard that gratitude and anxiety come from the same part of your brain and it can't do both at the same time. It also helps to smile while you do this (even if fake). It triggers hormones in your brain that help you feel good.

Answer

I also have anxiety and was on medication for it but came off due to the pregnancy it’s completely normal to feel what your feeling regardless of your anxiety remember we are all in the same boat and all want everything to go well ur not alone and pregnancy loss is a very hard thing to go through and a lot of women fear it especially after having previous losses the way I cope with this is by doing everything “right” for example staying hydrated, having a good diet, staying active via walking, not drinking alcohol/smoking taking my vitamins then if anything god forbid it does go wrong i won’t feel as bad or guilty due to me doing everything I possibly can to keep me and the baby healthy i also distract myself by sleeping, watching Netflix, having a nice bath, tracking symptoms, looking at baby stuff so time goes quicker I won’t be buying anything until after my 12 week scan and even then I’m only going to buy small things 🩷

Answer

I can totally relate. I’ve had losses in the past & it can be so hard to find peace. I pray over my pregnancy & this baby almost daily & that truly helps me. I also like to tell myself that this is a new pregnancy with a new outcome. I try to picture hopeful things like feeling the baby placed on my chest after labor, walking him or her in the stroller, etc.

Answer

It is so so hard and you are doing the best you can! It sounds so counterintuitive but what actually helped me reframe my pregnancy anxiety was coming to the realization that the worry never really goes away. Not after the heartbeat is heard, not after 12 weeks, not after NIPT results, not after the 20 week scan. And then they are actually born and you worry about a whole new set of problems! I finally realized I had to find a way to live my life while also understanding that as a parent you will worry about your kid until the day you die.
Try googling some mantras. I like, 'I trust my body, I trust my baby'. It can help you center if you start to spiral. 
Hang in there, you aren't alone!

How do I deal with nerves?

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