Long TTC journey - best friend had twins

Hey, just needed a bit of a rant more than anything.

Me & my husband have been TTC for 3+ years now. Last year we had an early miscarriage (approx 8 weeks) but since then nothing. It’s been emotionally tough & I find myself crying most days still. I’m approaching mid thirties now & starting to wonder if it will ever happen.

Last year when I found out I was pregnant I told my best friend as I felt quite alone (Mum died etc so no other real person to confine in). Well the night she found out, she did the deed with her partner and boom, got pregnant first time. Keep in mind prior to me telling them I was pregnant they had no intention of having kids & always grimaced at the idea but I think that was more to appease her partner who had no interest.

Long story short, our due dates were a week apart. Seemed like a dream situation for any best friends right? Then I miscarried. I told her and she lacked all empathy and blamed me, said she didn’t want to go on this journey alone and even told me she strongly considered terminating (although I think she was just saying it), all whilst I was physically still going through the miscarriage.

Not long after she found out she was having identical twins. Fast forward 8 months and she had them, completely healthy boys.

Throughout the whole pregnancy she never asked me how I was doing and to this day hasn’t mentioned it. Throughout the pregnancy she kept sending me her daily app up updates, ultrasound pics and kept me up to date with every single craving etc. It was rough. The same time my Grandma was unwell and then died who I was close to so I was dealing with that simultaneously. Again, never really even acknowledged that either.

The twins are now 5 months and every time I see her she plops them on me. Asks me to hold them whilst we chat etc. She constantly sends me photo updates of them. Still hasn’t once asked me how I am doing. She acts as though my miscarriage never happened. She makes passive comments a lot like ‘be grateful you don’t have to deal with so many dirty nappies’ with no consideration on how that may come across. She knows we have been TTC for years. When she was pregnant she even joked ‘Well you can look after mine if you don’t end up having any, I will need all the support’.

She has now convinced one of her friends to come off birth control (who also never wanted to kids prior to this) so she can and I quote ‘Have mummy friends’. That comment hurt to be honest.

Anyway, I know many will probably tell me it’s my fault for sticking around but it’s more complicated than that. We have known each other since we were little and work in the same office so it’s been a constant reminder. I just needed to get that off my chest :(