So frustrating..

So my period is due today , faint positives but I feel like af is coming for sure , I got so desperate last month that I ordered Clomid online , I know I should have went through my doctor but she won't prescribe it to me , I don't know what to do but I want to take it if af comes because I'll do whatever I have to do to start our family at this point ! My husbands dying for babies ! I'm so frustrated.