Dealing with my child's father!!!

My child father is very childish and he has his priorities jacked up. I gave birth January 4th which was 11 days before my actual due date, he wasn't their for the delivery because he was out of town getting drunk which is a very poor excuse. He apologized for missing the birth of our daughter but I still haven't came to terms with accepting the apology and forgiving him. I felt like he should have stayed close by knowing that I could be delivery any day at that point according to my Dr, but instead he wanted to only think of his self as ALWAYS. From the pervious post you our current status is undetermine at this time after 3 years and engaged. I personally feel like he's using this time to be with other women because he knows that i won't be able to see anyone else being pregnant and currently healing from delivery. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business. Everyone knows me as being his "old lady" "fiancé" etc... etc... etc.... so anything I do he would know because he's a police officer here which is devastating. I feel like I'm not in control of my own life at times. Which is odd to feel this way. I know, but that's the only way that I can describe it. I really don't know what he's doing when he's not around me and I've exhausted myself with the possibilities of him being with some one else etc...etc...etc.... He said he's not dealing with anyone else. (But he lies) My head hurts and I refuse to let that bother me anymore so I haven't even mentioned it to him so I just go about with a care free attitude towards him. We have really been through a lot together. (too much) Would you give up? Would you forgive him?