After you saying you won't marry me, you aren't going to now or ever, and constantly teasing me with, "when we get married," or "for our wedding I want..." I have finally made up my mind.

It's not ok for you to play games with me.

Just when I get used to knowing we will never get married, you bring it up.

It's gotten to the point that I don't even want to watch certain shows if I know there is a possibility that there could be anything to do with marriage.

I don't want to read the tabloids at the doctors office because I know there will be something in there about marriage.

I want to cry when friends or family decide to take that big step. Not in happiness, but in regret. For what I'll never have.

I sit here and picture you proposing to me, when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

I imagine some huge event, candles, roses, our loved ones around.

I imagine you slowly getting down on one knee and saying my full name.

I imagine you asking for my hand in the most romantic way possible.

And I imagine myself saying no.

You proposed to your ex and you say you love me more than anyone before me, but that feels like a lie.

How can you not want to be bound to me if you love me more than you loved her?

It seems pretty obvious that you are more sure of her than me. That you don't love me as much as you loved her. And that kills me everyday.

I know after all the hurtful things you've said to me about marriage, you still think you can propose to me, but you cant.

You've ruined that dream for me.