I feel like a cow!

This is just a rant/vent. But I recently moved and don't really have any friends I can talk to, so I just need to let this out...

I had to go dress shopping yesterday for a wedding and I felt like I looked horrible in everything. I've been mildly depressed since we moved and I've known it. But I didn't really realize I've been eating my emotions.

Well, yesterday I realized it! I can't believe how fat I've gotten! I spent most of the evening feeling gross and this morning I stepped on the scale. 148, when I should be about 130!

I know what I need to do, and diet and exercise will make this better, but it'll be 3-4 months before I can get back where I need to be in a safe and healthy way.

Knowing that the wedding is in 2 weeks and we are going to be seeing all of hubby's friends and their adorable wives, and he has to walk in with the Beluga makes me want to cry. I feel like I'm going to be the frumpy wife, while everyone else is catching up and saying how good everyone else looks, then they'll have to lie and say the same to us while we all know it isn't true.

I'm probably being a bit melodramatic, but there's one woman in particular that I'm dreading seeing when I feel so bad about my physical appearance. She's quite a bit younger than I am, and just had a baby in may, and shock of all shocks, she's already got her figure back and looks amazing. I'm happy for her, but I know she's just going to go on and on about how I look knowing that every word is a lie. Ugh, I feel like I don't even want to go right now.