I work in a restaurant and we hired a young woman a few months ago who is struggling with an eating disorder. She moved home from college in order to get treatment, and is working almost full time in the kitchen while she takes classes online. I work there part time while I'm in school, but I love the work and my coworkers. This girl is nice and a good worker, but more and more I find myself bothered by her eating habits (we eat breakfast and lunch at the restaurant). I had an eating disorder in junior high school but luckily got treatment pretty early and made a full recovery - I've been a healthy weight for years and thankfully no longer obsess about food and body image all the time.

On the one hand I have a lot of sympathy and compassion for this girl's situation, but on the other hand I'm starting to feel stressed and even somewhat triggered! She is clearly not eating anywhere near a healthy amount of food, and while she's an adult and it's her life, I can't help but feel self conscious about my own (normal) meals compared to the salads she barely touches and the two bites of oatmeal she has for breakfast. I've started eating really fast on our breaks so I can just get back to work and not be around her. She appears to be getting thinner and she even has trouble performing some of the strength-requiring tasks in the kitchen.

Basically, it feels like I'm watching her slowly commit suicide instead of trying to get better, which was the whole point of her moving back in with her parents. I think she's using work as an opportunity to get away with eating (no exaggeration) 200 calories tops between two meals. I'm worried for her health and safety, because she looks like she could faint any minute. Her fingers are purple!

I feel like a terrible person for being bothered by her, but it's gotten to the point where I'm thinking of finding another job - it breaks my heart because this is the most enjoyable work environment I've been in - I've worked here almost 2 years. Yet I don't want to slip into anorexic tendencies myself - I worked hard on my recovery (9 years ago).

Any thoughts or advice? What would you do? Another coworker of mine is also bothered/distressed, but she does exactly what I do and tries to eat fast on her break to just get away. I know how difficult anorexia is and that my talking to this girl would just make things awkward - I don't want to act like her mom or police her food choices. Ugh, I kinda just wish she'd go back to school or maybe to an in-patient treatment center.