I got my positive on Tuesday, and every day, I feel different about it. Sometimes I'm so excited because we had been trying for over a year. Sometimes I'm just pissed because we gave up and made new life plans when God decided to screw with me.

But last night was absolutely horrendous! I had a good, long cry--the kind where I can't breathe and make embarrassing noises and sound like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum. I just had so many thoughts that I wouldn't be able to do this and I would just ruin this little human. I even had some thoughts that I don't want this anymore but can do nothing about it. I even asked my husband what he thought about adoption. Ugh. I feel like the worst human being!

Today I'm back to kind of excited, but I am so nervous for the next meltdown.

Does anyone else have these thoughts, or am I alone?