I know we're not suppose to compare eachother as everyone is different. But I get my self so caught up in wanting a baby so bad that I feel every single month for the rest of my life is going to end in disappointment. Regardless of what I do,the things I try. I feel like okay I can try again this month. And have hopes. But then I just get this overwhelming feeling that tells me just to stop. It will never happen. Give up and let it go. It will never be fair that some people can try one or two months and not track anything and boom. They're pregnant. And were sitting here begging and praying and wondering what the heck is wrong with us. How is it fair? It's not fair. And the constant disappointment. It will never be fair. Now, I'm not upset about other women and I'm not getting salty or sour. I honestly am happy for them. But in the same sense. I'm tired of hearing about it. Like good for you. Life is just fair for you. But for some of us. It is not. We don't get lucky. We are in a constant battle in our heart's and minds. That we can't give up. Even though I want to. I want a baby so bad that I don't even want a baby anymore. If you know what I Mean. I just feel like, regardless it will never be fair. Not for a lot of us. And we will have to learn how to be okay with that and I'm pretty sure I won't be. I'm constantly thinking like what the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal? And if I am then what's going on? How many more vitamins, herb do I need to take. How many more times do I need to google something, and look into to help my chances, how many more times do I need to beg God before I realize just stop. You're done. Get over it and it will never be fair. Unfortunately it's the only thing I can think of. I just want a baby with my husband!. I'm trying everything. Apparently it's too much to ask. It's not something I deserve. So with that being said all of you women with bfps and healthy pregnancies. I envy you. Congrats. I say this is pure sincerity. I am glad your dreams game true. I just hope one day mine can.

And for the women who have tried years and nothing has happened I salute you. For your drive and will to keep moving forward.

With love.