We got our little one's ashes back today. I'm so hopelessly heartbroken. I wish the loss pages on Glow were more active. Not really sure what to do with myself. I want to just pause time and deal with my loss. 11 days out and it feels like it happened 5 minutes ago. The world is moving furiously forward and I don't want to play. I have to go back to work next week. I have to rejoin in the world. Today I don't want to even see people or take phone calls. And in some ways I'm sure the pain will start to somewhat fade as I'm forced to put one foot in front of the other again... I just miss being pregnant. I miss holding her inside. I miss looking forward to June. To the summer. To my new baby girl. I miss my cute and growing bump. I miss seeing the weeks tick by and having been finally past the 1st trimester, almost halfway done.. It feels so sickeningly unfair. I just want to say these things over and over and there's no one to say them to. There are people who would listen but there's no one who I can really say it to. 💔 blah.