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I need serious tips.

I'm gay, a virgin, as well as someone who has never been able to achieve an orgasm. I have to be in a certain mood and need something to turn me on for anything to happen. I like sex-fics, sex art, stuff like that, almost always with themes (only lesbian and sometimes gay- it depends, but most of the stuff overall is glee). I'm also very tight so just about everything I've ever done while masturbating was external. I need play with myself for quite a while before I start to see results, but almost never have I been able to even finger myself. I never get loose enough to be able to stick even one finger in, and I think that's where the main issue is. I don't know why, I've never even been able to put a tampon in before. Tips?