I've tried so hard to be okay with it, but today I just came to the conclusion that I won't ever be okay with my boyfriend watching porn when I'm not around. If he would watch it with me that would be one thing. But he won't. He just watches to get off when I'm not around to have sex with him. It makes me so sick to think about him getting off to some other woman in the fake fantasy that is porn. How can I live up to that? How can I compete? And he doesn't need me. If I don't have sex with him he doesn't suffer, he just gets off another way. If I said I'd never have sex with  him again, I'm SURE he would cheat for real. I just feel so tiny and insignificant and small. Like I'm not sexy at all or worth anything. We've been dating for a year and a half and I've tried everything he's wanted to including anal and letting him cum inside me because I wanted him to get to try all his fantasies. But it doesn't even matter because he can watch it 10 times hotter on the porn vids. So yeah. I don't know whether I should just accept it and feel awful about it cuz that's just the way it is or what. I love him and he's amazing otherwise. I just feel so worthless. It doesn't help that he's cheated twice for real. (Not sex but kissing and bikini pics exchanged with a girl we both know).