Need serious advice .. Thinking twice!
I met my bf exactly one year ago on Facebook. He was an attractive guy. We had very close mutual female friends and similar backgrounds so it was easy for us to feel like we had some things in common in terms of our personalities. We fell in love pretty quickly. I was happy to finally have someone who cared about me so much , who really loved me and wanted a real relationship with me. Very early on in our relationship He invited me to church , took me to meet his all of friends and family and even invited me on a family vacation to Hawaii with his parents and brothers and their wives.
Only problem is that he was still going through a divorce with his now ex wife. Some of our mutual friends tried to tell me that one of the chief complaints from the Ex has was that my man got complacent in their marriage. He stopped working and was living off of her. Of course he told me a different story of how he was fired and couldn't find a job for a while and the ex cheated on him. Etc. .. But now I believe the story that my friends told me!
I was living in my grandmothers building at the time we met and We moved in together fairly quickly. Well HE moved in fairly quickly. Really because his mother kicked him out bc he wasn't paying her rent on time and he was always hanging out with me. I shouldn't have let him move in but it was only supposed to be temporary until he found a place to stay on his own. 1 month after he moved in in March I got pregnant 😳. I was happy about it but still not sure he should stay with me. I ended up having a miscarriage due to a blighted ovum in April. I still encouraged him still to find an apartment . My aunt even got involved an encouraged him to find an apartment she didn't want him mooching off of me she wanted him to get divorced before we embarked on such an endeavor. He resented me and my aunt after that conversation. He felt rejected..started drinking heavily..flirting with other women..even bringing them around family events😱. I was ready to break up with him. We went on the family vacation in Hawaii around that same time that all if this was going on in July...and guess what... I Got Pregnant Again!! This time I wasn't so stoked. And ..I still wanted him to move out. His mom and him convinced somehow that I was going to need help throughout my pregnancy and during the first trimester I was so sick I believed them. So he stayed. He stopped drinking. He stopped with the other female non sense. He started being more domesticated. Very helpful. Always with me at home or wherever. For the most part we have a good relationship and rapport with one another. We love each other very much I believe .
But throughout the year one main problem has always been that he can't pay rent $ on time. He gives me money here and there. Never the full amount at once . Always half here or half there or just half :(. I've been left to pick up the pieces. I even loaned him my grandmothers car so he could sell his and to try and make some extra money I'm even allowing him to use grandmas car to Uber. But he still somehow never has money?? It's frstratingZ he works and he ubers and he doesn't have a car note and still he can't pay the rent on time. I think he thinks bc my grandmother owns the building he doesn't have to really contribute. But he does! Bills have to be paid. I feel like he's taking advantage of me sometimes. I know he loves me but still taking advantage. He has money to smoke weed, he has money to go to Vegas with his boys, money for his fantasy football , but difficulty giving money to me for rent.
My grandmother owns slot of real estate, and I want to move into her other building which is a 3 bedroom town home. It's currently being renovated it's going to be so nice. But guess what?.. A month ago my bf got fired from his job 😱🙄. Now I'm stuck picking up the pieces even more by myself. I'm buying the sofas, the paint, the lights everything by myself just so WE can move in to grandmas place before I have this baby in April. And now he's starting to show resentment. He does help but sometimes If I ask for his help to choose paint or help configure where the furniture will go he acts impatient, has an attitude. Like he's got better shit to do or no time. I've had to cuss his ass out twice now because of his attitude about helping me with this place. My friend told me his resentment comes from watching me spend all of this money and him not being able to help. He simply can't provide . But he whines about it to me and now his Depression is becoming evident. He did find a part time job (32 hours a week at a law firm) He starts work next Monday thank god. In the meantime I'm trying to encourage him to go back to school bc he complains about never having enough money. He's actually thinking about it but I want him to do it.! I've been in top of him about applying for health coverage and just certain things we need to do in order to move..! Yesterday he yelled at me and told me I was "stressing him out". We got into a big argument about it. I told him he was acting like a whining ungrateful brat and that if anyone was stressed it was me! And it's true. I work 49 hours a week, I manage property for my grandmother, I deal with contractors on a daily basis, I'm renovating the house, I'm PREGNANT, my mangroves me little money to live with me, his ass is depressed. :/ it's stupid.
I no longer want him to move in with me to the new place. I don't feel like he's going to hold his end of the bargain and I feel like I'm enabling him to act like a child and not take responsibility. I've seen this before in relationships and men just end up cheating or worse when they don't or can't feel like men. And I'm starting to resent him. I feel like I'm doing ALOT on my own. He helps me with things tho and I love him sooo much. I want us to work so badly. We're about to have a little baby together, I'm scared and I want him around but.. He can't pay the bills. He gives me attitude now when I need his opinion on things to buy for this move. He's "depressed".. I just don't think this is a good situation and on top of this I'm pregnant so I don't want to have sex that often he's starting to comment about that making him even more insecure. It's just too much.
What do you think I should do? How can I kick him out now? I'm About to have our baby in 2 months. His mom is buying all of this baby furniture for the new home. Should I delay the move? Something is telling me this move might be a blessing and a way for me to talk to him about him Not going with us over to the new place. Maybe while me and my baby go to grandmas he needs to go somewhere else and get his shit together. Need help.
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