Well I'm finally feeling awesome again. Towards the end of last year I became very depressed so much was going on in my life. Decided to separate myself from my sisters friends and my dad because of differences. My husband was leaving for Trucking School and we had just started taking having children seriously after being together for nine years. I thought things we be great once I received my settlement and my husband and I moved in with my mom to help her with her health and my teenage niece and nephew. Well it started off great but by the time September came everyone had me beyond stressed from whatever it was they just wasn't with me on anything except my husband and my mom. My sisters became more jealous and my bestfriend got married and pregnant all within a year of knowing this guy and all of sudden shes pushing her pregnancy bs all on me trying to make me feel bad because everything happened for her so perfectly. I could not understand why they were not just happy for me, my life is amazing to me I thought thats all that mattered not their opinions of how I should be living in my 30s with no kids like I'm enjoying my life. I got a great husband three cars, travel, money saved to buy a home but I'm helping my mom right now so my husband and I live her but rent free in a beautiful gated community in a really nice area. I'm like I might not have kids yet but life is good u know. My friend made me feel like I should not be happy without kids she was also lying alot I even caught her a few times about money and comparing everything even said some things about my husband that wasn't true. I mean this girl life is amazing why lie or even pretend ur life is perfect u don't need to we r both blessed u know but she wanted to make it seem like what I was going through wasn't relevant all she cared about was her happiness and after all that I broke down. It really hurt I loved her like a sister I couldn't understand her not being understanding about how sensitive the subject was for me about not having kids yet and helping take care of my sisters two firstborn kids while they move on with their lives jus had be like why me. Well I tell u why because God knows my heart and I live for him and despite my hardships and unfair situations in life he loves me gives me everything I don't deserve and blesses me beyond what I pray for in his timing I will have my family and I forgot that promise because I was listening to and was around other people who don't believe in his word and promises like I do but today I am restored. I am getting better each day the pain hurts less everyday and I am back to enjoying everyday life even though some of my dreams and blessings have not came to pass yet, I am not worried in due season they will come. My husband is my bestfriend we have been married for 9 years and together 10 we jus celebrated our nine year Wedding Anniversary my moms health is much better, my niece and nephew are both excelling in high school and they weren't at first but God used me and my husband to share his love with them and they are being blessed greatly and to me I am living his purpose for my life and I will be blessed because he loves an obedient child even more when we listen and take his course for our lives no matter the difficulties along the way the Lord is our guide and will never lead us astray. So blessed I know I will be sharing my miracle babies soon enough my husband came back home put his Trucking dreams on hold so we can start a family this is our second month, I tracked my ovulation correctly and im feeling confident in God knowing he will bless us in the right time. We will keep trying until it happens. Prayers to all u women in ur 30s ttc don't give up hope place urself around uplifting positive people who encourage you and ur dreams and stand in agreement with u and claim ur blessings in Jesus name Amen