First midwife appointment.

Just came out of my first midwife appointment and I cried. My bmi is 40, 1 point over what it should be so now I have to have 2 extra growth scans, I can't deliver on the midwife led unit, I have to deliver on the consultant unit which means I probably can't have my water birth I so badly wanted and I can't be active during labour, I feel so so disgusting. Sorry about my language but I fucked up. I've already lost 3.5lbs and I need to loose more. I don't want all this. I just want to have a normal pregnancy and birth like last time. I'm so so upset.