Horny enough to want a handjob but not sex???

Question

Sorry for the rant, but this has really upset me 😔 last night me and my bf went to bed and were about to fall asleep when he started kissing me, and one thing led to another and he wanted me to touch him, so I did. I assumed it was all foreplay and when I made a move to get him to move on top of me, he said he "wasn't in the mood for that". All he wanted was a handjob. 
It really upset me, because it made me feel like he didn't want me and me having a history of panic attacks, all of a sudden I couldn't breathe anymore, and had a sharp pain in my chest and neck and was just weeping cause he made me so upset and that block in my throat wouldn't go away. 😔

He tried to calm him down and I told him I don't understand how he can be in the mood, but not be in the mood for me, and he said he just wanted to be close to me. So now handjob makes him feel closer to me than actual sex???
I don't understand his logic behind it and I don't think he understands why I got so upset. 
How do I tell him how it makes me feel and have you ever experienced anything like that? How can somebody be horny but not want to have sex with their partner?
Sorry for the rant.

Answer

Easily, it is very easy for someone to be horny but not want sex. You're taking it waaaaay to personally. I've doe that before and my boyfriends done that before, with me its I wanna make out and cuddle but I don't really want sex right now and with him it can be I want to give and receive head but I don't want sex right now. It doesn't have anything to do with not wanting the other person, it's all about what you're in the mood to do.

But if you don't feel comfortable telling him just show him this post, then go into more detail if he has questions.

Answer

Try not to let it bother you. Sometimes you just want something quick & easy. Doesn't mean he doesn't want you, he just doesn't want to do the motions if that makes sense. Sort of like he's lazy cause sex takes a lot of motion haha my husband is like that sometimes!

Answer

Sometimes my husband just wants me to touch it so that he can go to sleep. He doesn't expect to cum. Maybe it is comforting... 
I don't think that your bf meant to hurt your feelings

Answer

Don't let it bother you.

Sex is a lot of work, but an orgasm alone isn't. It's just what he was in the mood for is all

Answer

Ok I've been in this situation many times, so I completely know how you feel. My issue is that when my boyfriend wants a handjob but not sex, he blames it on the fact that he'll have to take a shower afterwards and he doesn't feel like taking one, which makes me feel like I'm dirty or something (I know sex is a sweaty exchange of bodily fluids, so I know I overthink it but I can't help it). 
My other issue is that when I don't feel like having sex, he gets upset with me. I've never understood why, he says it's because "there's always a reason for how someone feels" and so he thinks that I'm mad at him or that something happened for me to not want to have sex with him. I don't get it!!! 😒😒😒

Answer

He was being selfish at the time! Why should he get off and you don't! Maybe he's been playing with his penis and now this is all he wants from you if this is the case

Answer

You don't always want to eat the same food. Sometimes you want to stay home and cook, and other times you just want to get fast food

Horny enough to want a handjob but not sex???

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