Faith, love, and strength for all...

I was quite surprised of how many other women had gone thru what I gone thru about 4 months ago I had a early miscarriage... I had aches, cramps, I just felt odd it was my first... I work unloading trucks and a box was rolling down towards my stomach and I block it with my hand but at that moment it felt like a maternal instinct and I knew I was mixed emotions cause I didn't know how I would provide but just after a week later I had really severe cramps 911 type and bleed for 3 days my doctor told me it was nothing blood test came out 4 weeks positive hcg 120 I tried to convince myself but in my heart I knew what happen I waited another 2 week negative pee tests and then negative blood test I lost my first baby first time I cried for months hated myself and that's when everyone was pregnant babies everywhere I convinced myself it's not time yet and read a bible quote that he shall return him to me not to shed a tear I can never find that quote after or maybe it was in a dream but at night when I'm praying I talk to God and my child I call my angel I send it kisses and hugs and one day we will be together it's still hard to talk about it and remember that time but a day before I bleed and miscarriaged I said my goodbyes and that I will always remember and love you I kissed my hand and passed it to my tummy I knew the brown spotting I had before was going to end in a miscarriage my mother been thru it so she told me it might happen so I took that time to say those words to my angel before he/she left I pray that one day I might have a child just not now it hurts to much I still need time but I pray that with this hard trial to go thru you have support from someone strength to let go and ignore stupid comments love yourself because it's not your fault or your spouses faith that you will have a child or more children and to keep on going as you can see others have gone thru it and it's hard but time heals wounds and if you think of your child like me an angel in a better place that's has never once felt sadness, poverty, evilness, or tears in this world just love and joy from mommy and daddy it will get a little better may all of you be blessed one day and hold on and don't lose faith thank you