Teen Pregnancy

In november am turning 17. Few weeks back my ex rang me and we decided to meet. We have been together for a year and when we broke up we didn't speak 3 months. Then he wanted to be friends and I was so happy that he came back that i wasn't bothered if we are just friends. However that night we had sex and that was biggest mistake ive done. I told him that this is the last time after i got carried away. Ive been on contraceptive pill all year and after we broke up i went off the pill. I told him and said he should be careful. After it i asked if he did or didnt he said he did. I was shocked and told him if he knows what that can mean. We didnt talk about it much but i knew i was going to get pregnangt since it was my most fertile day. He knew what he was doing. He is not a kid. He is 27 and week after that i saw him again i already suspected i might be and when we walked and his friend gave him bike i told him 'oh you will be riding with our baby soon' he smiled and i walked away coz i was on my way home. Then he wantd to.see me week after and we ended up having sex again. Again no protection and i said to him am pregnant he was shocked. He asked me if am serious. I told him that ive missed my period. He told me to go doctors and have an abortion. He didnt want a baby he still dont and he dont really want to talk to me untill i sort it out. Now am cying like everyday. It was my dream to have baby with him one day i love him so much but that not the time i wanted a baby. I dont want abortion but am scared ill lose him he said he will szpport me and be there for me if i have an abortion and i dont know what to do. I mean he knew what he was doing so why did he put me in this situation. Sometimes he is happy about it i mean when i said am doing work experience in nursery he was laughing and he was happy he already new am pregnant since i showed him positive test. He was also laughing when i said i will bring you the baby whether z want or not ill leave it in front of d doors so i can go work and he looked happy. I dont know what to do ive been in doctor and ive got my first appointment with midwife on 17 november which is just before my bday.can anyone help me :'(