I'm currently 5 weeks 3 days pregnant. 

I had a miscarriage in June (3 weeks 2 days) so this is my rainbow baby. Last night (Saturday) I had brown discharge in my panties & toilet paper after wiping. I got scared and went to the ER. Alone.! I sat there for 4 hours of testing and waiting for answers. I was discharged at 1 o'clock in the morning with a hormone level of 2,456 , a closed cervix and " a little bit more brown mucus" left over. And instructed to go back Monday for a follow up hormone test and to call my OB. By the time I got back home my Fiancé had already left for work. So I went to bed alone, when he got home this morning he went straight to bed. Got up at 12 and left to take his son and daughter ( from a previous relationship. 11 yr old son & 9yr old daughter) to their basketball games. Leaving me home alone. After their games he was to take them to his moms house as we do every Sunday and then come back home to be with me. But instead stayed gone for another 3 hours. AND brought another child home with him for a sleep over. 

As I am still spotting  and having mild cramps but most of all I'm very emotional, sad and scared I'm going to lose this baby too. I tried to explain this to him but he doesn't get it. Makes me feel crazy for being upset. But I spend my whole pregnancy and miscarriage in June alone. I went to my appointments alone and spend days and nights in pain, sad, and alone.

Feels like that all over again... 

All i wanted today was for him to be here to comfort me in my time of need, especially since I didn't tell any friends or family about this pregnancy. Want to wait to surprise my mom. 

I spent the whole day alone, he came home and got mad at me because I was being selfish for wanting his time. I didn't feel like I was being selfish by now I feel even worse than I did before telling him how desperately I wanted him to be with me today. This ended in a fight , more tears for me, and him going to bed.. I just feel so alone and scared. I don't know what to do. I just want my little sugar lump to be okay. 😭😭😭