Best advice to give someone who miscarried?

Question

My sister and a good friend both miscarried this weekend. Im on the way to my sisters now for support. What is the best thing to say during such a hard time and what's the worst thing to say? I don't want to say the wrong thing. Please help!!

Answer

I had a mc Nov. 17th and the best thing I heard was that "it wasn't my fault" and "it's ok to be sad" and as simple as it might sound "I'm sorry." The things that hurt to hear were, "well at least you know you can get pregnant", "it wasn't meant to be", "at least you have Em" (my 4 yr old daughter), "you can just get pregnant again." I wanted my baby...that baby that I lost, so it was hard to hear things like "don't worry you can just try again." I hope this helps. I'm so sorry your sister and friend have to go through this heartbreak.

Answer

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and your friend. I had a mc in October. What helped me most was hearing how common mc is. I had no idea. I felt like I had done something wrong to lose my baby. Hearing that it's common and here was nothing I could have done to make it happen or prevent it helped too. The absolute worse things I heard, unfortunately, came from my mom. 1) "I feel just as badly as you do." (My mom never had a miscarriage so it felt like she was somehow discounting what I was going through). 2) "It must have been those BC pills you were on all those years." 3)"I want to talk about it even if you don't." Stay away from saying anything in that neighborhood and you'll be good.

Answer

There is nothing, unless you e been through it yourself, you have no clue what it's like. Just listen and be a shoulder to cry on for her.

Best advice to give someone who miscarried?

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