Very confused and upset. Please help

Dianna • he treats me like an angel and fights me like a devil. We're trained boxers!👪💋 don't like me idgaf hop off my page
No matter what I do, no matter what I say it's wrong. I can't do anything right. I try and I try to change the way I talk, the way I act because he doesn't like it, even when I can see a change in myself he doesn't. I'm at a dead end. I don't know what to do, I don't know what else I can do to prove to him that I'm trying everything in my power the act the way he wants me to. I'll agree, I have some anger issues, I come off rude but I truly don't do it intentionally. I wish he could see past that and know I mean no harm. I've told him over and over again I'm sorry, I'm trying. His always calling me stupid or a cunt or bitch and I can't take it anymore. He says he'll do something but never does it. He more so talks out of his ass just to hear himself talk. I rarely ever get sleep anymore. I can't, I try but my mind is always going. I feel like his twisting and turning me to make me how he wants me. What can I do to make this work. How can I make this work. I'm so hurt. I hate myself knowing I can't do anything right. Someone please give me advice. Has anyone gone through this and got passed it? please I'm very desperate. I love this man with every inch of my heart. I can't loose him, if I do I know my depression will go straight down and I'm not sure how much farther it can go without me doing something I don't believe in. What I mean by that is I'm a believer in the Lord and taking your own life is a sin. I shouldn't think that way but I honestly can't help it. I think over and over agin what's my purpose of being here if all I do is cause pain for others. Sorry to keep going on and on but it's 2:15 in the morning and I have no one to talk to and I need all of this to be off my chest.