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My husband and I have been together for 7 years, since we were 18. Of course we've had our share of ups and downs and have split up occasionally during the 7 years due to immaturity on both of our parts. We have grown together and grown up together and have now been married almost year. During one of our splits he had unprotected sex with his friends older (10 years older) sister who is seperated from her husband but still legally married. He was unaware she could get pregnant and was under the impression she had her tubes tied after her third kid. He always pulled out with me even when I was on birth control bc we were not ready to start a family. He says this happened bc she was sitting on top of him (mind you this woman is 5'6 and about 220) and he could not get her off in time before having an orgasm. They were seeing each other for a month when she announced she was pregnant, so my husband stayed for another 7 months. During those 7 months she quit her job and made him provide everything for her and her 3 children she has by her husband who she doesn't make pay child support. She even tried to get my husband to pay for their divorce! He refused and left and we were able to rekindle our relationship. When she gave birth to their child she had the hospital not release her name so when us and my husband family tried to go see the baby we couldn't find them. She didn't want any of us there. I spent hundreds of dollars putting together a room for their son in support of my husband and to show him that I forgave him and was willing to help him raise the child. Since we weren't allowed at the hospital his name is not on the birth certificate, she changed the name of the child from what they had agreed upon and the child has her husbands last name. Two weeks before our wedding the local police show up at our home serving restraining orders on us saying that we have this room for her child and she's worried we will kidnap him. She also took one out on my mother in law for picking up her other grandchildren at the same time she picks up her other kids from school and that she felt she was stalking her. She then took one out on my sister in law for "looking at her in a threatening way" at the ball field where their sons are on the same baseball team! The judge laughed in her face and threw all the restraining orders out. Fast forward 6 months and we are married and are now expecting our first child together. At this point I want nothing to do with her or her child, nor does my husband. I truly believe if we spend the thousands of dollars to get any sort of custody that CPS would be called every time we define the child to her and that's not something I want to deal with being pregnant or that I want to put my child through once it is here. My husband is in complete agreement with me. The problem is my brother in law keeps throwing up in our face that we shouldn't have a kid bc my husband can't take care of his other child. It really hurts my feelings bc I wanted him to be excited for us. I have gone through a lot for his brother and instead of seeing that all he sees is this other child who's mom has said numerous times to my husband "you don't have a son" "my child would never be allowed at that bitches house" etc. How do I get over this? Am I completely wrong for not pushing my husband to go through the courts to establish paternity and get custody?