Still have those mornings.

Its been a little over three weeks since we lost our baby and had a D&E. We all have our days and somedays are better than others. This morning was just one of those days i opened my eyes and felt so much pain and grief as if i dreamed about my baby but when i woke up i looked over at where he wouldve been expecting to see him in his crib. Mind you we never even bought a crib i only got as far as moving the bed over so we could fit a crib. My husband refuses to talk about how it makes him feel hes there for me in ways i cant explain but wont talk about how he feels. I guess we both see a therapist and thats what its for. Hes not bad for not talking about i just know i feel awful and i vent all the time i dont want him holding it in. Taking it all in is exhausting and I miss my son so much. In the 13 weeks he was in my belly i was so happy. Everything seemed to make sense. Now i feel a mess im questioning my job choice which has been my life for 8 years already. Waiting for this first cycle to try again is stressful lol. Another baby will never replace my son but i feel so empty.