Ehh not looking for sympathy or for people to comment. Just want to write what's upsetting me right now.

So I'm not saying my boyfriend is abusive or anything he is ok. I'm from canada, visiting the states for him.... when I first came the "cousin" he told me about was his new gf in rl. I found out and we all talked it over and decided to try it out. It's been a year now we've all been together. Me off and on going home ... and omg it has been soooo hard, specially with her. Me being jealous and her being mad and we not talk for days even tho we live in the same house. But even him... I don't feel satisfied. ..and maybe I'm being selfish, maybe I'm just over thinking but he doesn't sleep on the bed with us anymore he sleeps on the floor. And when he did sleep on the bed her and him cuddled all night and I felt off to the site. We don't have sex, maybe once a month. .. but I'm scared to leave them alone together incase they have sex. Which they have waited till I showered to have sex before.... multiple times. But out of that the worst thing is... I have to watch everything I say, he gets mad at me over everything. He was throwing out shirts and I wanted to keep them and he gets all mad at me even tho I will switch out shirts I don't wear so I can have the other ones and he was all mad. I can't talk to him at all about anything. I just keep everything to myself...and when I finally have to tell him how I feel... I wait till she leaves to use the bathroom because whenever I have to talk to him about stuff, it pissed her off... and she has wanted to leave multiple times because of me "complaining " to him. She did leave once and he blamed it all on me. Untill that night she came back. Another thing... he always smacks her butt, or plays and jokes with her. Or does cute stuff and kisses her just to kiss her. He never does that with me.. and I feel just so lonley. I have no one. Honestly I feel like I can't be myself with either of them and all I want to do is go home...but I have to wait or make a good excuse to go home...and my mom's bday is in April, that will finally be my reason to go home and get out of this shit hole! I'm not happy and I don't deserve this >:( .... ok rant over.