Anyone?

Question

Is anyone else on here staying with their SO just cause they either a) have children together, or b) for financial reasons? I'm 27 and have a child with my "SO" and I am staying for both reasons as of now. I have stayed with him for 4 years, but cannot do it anymore. I'll be financially able to support myself next year. He's cheated multiple times, is emotionally abusive, and just wants different things in life. (Doesn't want to get married, never wanted kids....) I want all those. We have a child together only because bc failed but I want more.

I mainly feel weird doing it as I feel too old to "start over". Will I have time to date, get married, have kids. I won't have children over the age of 35. That doesn't give me much time.

Just looking for advice and to hear from other women who are in this situation. *please don't bash me and say it's bad for the child to stay together. I KNOW this. I don't plan on staying much longer.

Answer

Life is too short.. Don't stay w someone you don't truly love or doesn't respect you. Take some time to save but sounds like its time for you to be happy!

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I totally appreciate this. If you ever need to talk please reach out to me..

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You've got plenty of time! And I'd say get out of the relationship asap, you don't want to show your child that this is a normal relationship

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Dealt with this. I stayed because of financial reasons.... Then we had a child. I couldn't do it anymore. My son was about 1.5 years old and would see us fighting and would throw a fit and cry everytime we did... That's when I knew I HAD to leave. I was so poor for a while after I left until and awesome job opportunity came up. I have to say I was happier having no money, and struggling to make ends meet, than being with him. 
And you're still young. I wouldn't worry about finding someone and having more children right now. Focus on yourself and getting out of there.😊

Answer

I was in a horrible relationship for 8 years. We have a child together. He was emotionally abusive to both me and my son. I left him when I was 29 or 30. I thought I was done having kids and had accepted that I was gonna be an old crazy cat lady.

I met my now husband when I was 34, we were married when I was 35 and had our 1st child when I was 36. I am now 41 and pregnant with our second child. I never in a million years would have thought I would be having a baby at this age. But because of my husband, I am able to he a sahm, and I really want to have a little girl. So we did it. Not sure if it's a girl, but I am pregnant.

It's never too late. :-) Leave him as soon as you can. You will he so happy you did. It's a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

Answer

I just left my husband a month ago because I don't love him anymore. There was never any abuse just things I couldn't look past anymore ( no appreciation for working while he did nothing, taking care of our kid and working full time, doing everything around the house). I'm sorry you've had more to deal with than I could ever imagine but I'm going to tell you that it can be better. You can have a better life and love every moment you live. I have never been happier in my life. It's hard to do, and I'm not going to lie it's the hardest conversation you'll ever have, but it is worth it. I haven't questioned my decision once and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm no longer being pushed into the ground. I hope this helps you and I hope you find the strength to do what's best for you because everyone deserves happiness!!!💕💕💕

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Why don't you want kids over age 35? I had my first at 36. Best decision I ever made. I think you have plenty of time to do what you want. You just need to get yourself out of this situation ASAP so that your life can be open to new opportunities.

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I was divorced at 27 with a 3 year old from the marriage. I met my 2nd husband after we have been married over a year, and am currently 38 weeks pregnant with our child. I will be 31 this Friday. You never know what will happen in your life. Focus on supporting yourself and your child and take life from there. Good luck.

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If you have parents that would help Id get out now and move in with them. I wouldn't want children around that and you need peace and a fresh start. I understand how you feel but you can find another way just have to try hard and look hard at how.  If there's NO other way then plan smartly and stick to your plan.  You will always have time. I know women 36 that just had kids etc. it will be ok. Do better for yourself but more so for your kid(s).  Trust me.

Answer

OMG I am experiencing this same thing! My boyfriend and I met in college. I was out of state he was in his own hometown but 6 months into dating he was physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and had a relationship for four months and acted as of it was completely normal. I moved back home teachers my family is and transferred to a college here bit it's a lot more expensive than my other college out of state (scholarship). I feel like if I leave him I'm going to end up punching pennies, homeless because my checks are not substantial enough. Or he's going to come after me. I feel like of I stay and endure this all, at least I will be stable and all right and can make a plan. He says he loves me and doesn't want me to go AMD he's never going to leave, but he feels like putting romantic effort into our relationship is tiring and it doesn't make me happy..not one bit...is it wrong to stay for love and financial reasons? I love him but I don't  love the hurt he's put me through...

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