Unfair and all

I deleted this app last month so that I can try and not chart anything and I was very hopeful that I will get pregnant if I don't think about it all the time but I've failed again. Af is due March 4 and my boobs are so sore just like I always get before periods and I'm emotional and my body is hot and I always get all of these before af. I'm so disappointed. Where can I get the courage to start all over again next month. I know I will be crying to sleep tonight. Sorry for writing all this. It's so sad that when you want something it doesn't happen. I'm heartbroken. I don't have the courage to tell my hubby that I don't want this anymore. Every single month I cry when I see my period and then I start trying again. Sorry for the rant. I had no place to go and I have no shoulder to cry on. I never thought it would hurt this much.