How do you know you're still in love after all those years?

Question

Hey ladies. I was just thinking today I wonder what it feels like to sustain love over years of being together? What is it supposed to feel like? Do you still get butterflies or an amazing feeling when your SO compliments you? What signs or feelings have you gotten through out your marriage or relationship that's made you feel like yup, this is the one for sure without any doubts. Share your stories with me please. Will help me greatly with what I'm currently going through thanks!!

Answer

After 13 years together, 10 years of marriage, 2 (going on 3) kids, I can tell you that I don't still love my husband. I have gone through stages where I have to fall in love with him all over again. I constantly have an evolving relationship with him and I love him very differently now than when we first started dating. I have also hated him at times and have had to ignite the love once again. It isn't easy, but I read something once that said we don't find true love, we create true love. I agree with this.

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For years I've been struggling with STUPID boys that always broke my heart and left me feeling worthless. I had a guy bestfriend who I never really saw/met up with because we had our own lives going on and made it 100% clear we were too busy to get into a relationship. One day I told him I wanted to meet up with him and so we had a "first date" before you know if he couldn't stop thinking about me and decided to ask me out a month later. Now I'm 1 year into a relationship with him. My point is, I know he's the one because he's not only my first real love, but he's also my bestfriend. He would go above and beyond for me like no other guy ever did and has the most respect for me. I know he's the one because despite all our hardships were still here and he treats me like a queen. We're still in love with each other and our only intention is to get married. We know we're still in love because the effort and sacrifice never fades away and we always put each other first. You know it because you get a feeling no one else has ever given you. I love him!!!!

Answer

We obviously both know we love each other. Like normal things just go "routine". But every once in awhile I'll look at him and he won't even have to be looking at me and in my head I'm saying, he's so good looking, I just love him, etc...and my heart skips a beat. That's how I know lol. Idk how it goes for him but I assume it's at least similar to what I do.

Answer

There is definitely a difference between being "in love" and "loving" someone. Having unconditional love is also a factor. It is possible to completely loathe and love someone all at the same time.

The unconditional one is challenging. I find myself completely in love, cherished, and respected to only be undermined. Then all that passion turns into me being disgusted and wanting space due to his selfish behavior. It's hard to stay mad at him because I know he's clueless about the intricacies of others emotions INFP.

Too me he is absolutely sexy and I find myself checking him out as he does things around the house. The best is when he smells my neck and tells me how it drives him crazy. I love how he whispers to me and tells me everything he loves about me or how we talk for hours.

I think the fact that we spend time apart (due to work) helps keep the fire in our lives. We are both busy and have a complex non-traditional family. Despite all the ups and downs we will always have each other's back and take care of one another. Knowing that makes it easy to find love when it is lost. That's also how my parents have been married 44 years. Marriage and relationships take constant work/maintenance. Hope this helps. Good luck!

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My husband and I have been together for 4 years, and just last night we were watching a movie together and he reached over grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers in mine. I got butterflies as if it was the first time we'd ever held hands. ☺️ It's the little things like that that keep our marriage strong. Sure, there are rough times, but you remember that you are each other's best friends and that you love each other and everything always seems to work out ❤️

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Its a love hate relationship😂😂😂😍 I love my husband but I hate somethings that he does or doesn't do or how he thinks sometimes. I tought that after yrs of telling him to do or  not do this or to change something about him, he would do it but no, goes in one ear👂🏼 and out the other👂🏼😤😕 I'm sure he feels the same way😍😍😍 but we tell each other Love you everyday all the time. And well I get butterflies when I think of him and when hes next to me and my skin touches him he gets Goosebumps and says its beacause of how I make him feel😍😍😍.

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I know it will sound cheesy but I knew something special would happen with my husband the day I met him. We were staring into each other's eyes and it felt like I could just stay there forever. I was filling out my w-4 as I had just gotten a job there, he had snooped the schedule and saw I was going to be there so on his off day he went up there to "get his headphones" when he knew I would be there just to meet me. (I didn't know it at the time that he planned the chance encounter) and just a year and ten months later here we are married and I love him more each and every day. He's my best friend and really the person I confide in. He always finds me beautiful when I feel worthless. He's the best.

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Things do change.. I have been with him just over 6 years.. I don't think we have that spark anymore, I down get butterflies but if he does compliment me it makes me happy.

I can't say we are "in love" not like at the start of the relationship but I do love him so much. And can I imagine myself not being with him? No.. we have so many memories and he is my best friend.

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You look at that person and u feel the luckiest in the world. U can't wait to make their day better every single day. U dream of getting old together... the spark never dies

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I'm at 9 years together, and no butterflies. I just look at my life and my kids and what we've been through. We don't currently have a romantic spark by any means. But even if he just makes me feel blah, I still want him by my side when we're old. Everything about my future has him in the picture when I imagine it. I guess I'm okay with dull for a while, because I really believe in the sanctity of marriage and if you endure through the bland, you'll have some good years waiting for you, and beyond if you believe in life after death. But I think our marriage has every other ideal quality right now besides the romance or passion or butterflies or whatever. Sex still exists sometimes, just not all of the wooing. I think we're just at the stage most solid couples reach at 70, lol