If I can, does that mean I should?

I have the ability to check my husbands text messages through our cell phone provider. We just got over a messy part of our marriage involving infedelity... Should I look? I can't help but want to know. I need to know. More to know that I'm being paranoid and not that he went back to this "other woman". If that's what you even want to call her. I'm not bitter, angry, jealous, or insecure. I am hurt though, and I want to be able to trust him. But I can't. Ugh I just don't know what to do. 😩