How do i tell them...?

Question

So... my brother and his fiance have been ttc for around 4yrs. Theyve had over 10 miscarriages and are part way through ivf and fertility treatments.

Meanwhile my husbsnd and i were ttc for 12mths and recently found out we are expecting. Im 12wks and its time to tell our family before i break the news to my bosses and friends.

How do i tell them? I know how much it hurt me hearing of my friends successes whilst we struggled month in and month out... i dont want to hurt them but need to tell them. I cant do it in person either as they live many km away...

Id appreciate opinions.

Answer

Tell them first, give them a day or two to process...then tell the rest of the family. It will give them time to brace themselves privately.

Answer

I agree with Mandi. Definitely tell them first. They'll be happy for you but it would still be good for them to brace themselves for everyone talking about it.

Answer

Congrats trust me just tell them... my brother and his wife to be lost there twin girls at 6months stil born... my big sister and little sister since then have had 4 kids between them they kept it from them and they felt hurt abou it... honesty is the best policy.. plus it's not rite u are meant to be able to be excited and they will be fore you too... yes they will feel like wtf is wrong with them..  I'm trying now have been couple months and I'm not pregnant but I told them I'm trying there over the moon... 
X

Answer

I'd call them up and tell them. Let them know that you are excited and support them in their journey. Make it clear that you want to be sensitive to their feelings. It sounds like you are coming from the most understanding place and can be sensitive to the fact that they may not be as excited as the rest of your family. Be honest and gentle.

Answer

I don't think I would officially tell them however I would not hide it from  them either. I would wait till they found out.  Eventually it will come out

Answer

Please don't wait for them "to just find out".... I'm sure to any woman (especially emotional) that would hurt! I agree with others. Let them know first. Tell them alone and together. And then tell the rest of the family. I'm sure it will hurt at first and then they will be extremely happy for you both!

Answer

I agree with some other ladies. Definitely tell them privately first before you announce it x

Answer

Just be honest with them. Let them hear it from you not from other people...

Answer

Well i spoke to my brother this afternoon... talked about everything than told him i was pg. He said congrats and that it was great news but i could hear the pain in his voice. I got off the topic again and we talked about other things as i could hear he was sad... it was hard telling him and hearing the pain in his voice... i rang my mum straight after as i knew she would ring him to talk. They wouldnt answer their phones... than eventually mum talked to him and there was quite a number of tears again... mum than rang me...

What should be a joyous and happy time for my husbsnd and i feels like its been stolen from us... its like what should be celebrated and happy has turned into a curse and a cause of pain. Im not sorry or upset about being pg... i just wish they could put their issues aside and be happy for us. Or realise that their issues have impacted us now and hurt me especially...  Its not like we havent had a rough 12mths leading to this point in time either...

Struggling to get excited when my pg causes loved ones so much grief and heartache. It shouldnt be like this....

I just want to be happy... and enjoy this first pregnancy and all it brings.

How do i tell them...?

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