Am I Crazy?

Question

For not wanting my best friend to get with the ex I gave my virginity to? I am happily married to someone else now and wouldn't have it any other way, but at the same time, my ex and I are on good terms and I will always care about him because he's the first man I gave everything to. We were deeply in love and our relationship was intense and passionate, but eventually I came to the conclusion that he wasn't "the one". 
Now my best friend has a serious boyfriend but she's Facebook messaging my ex and flirting hardcore. She's a virgin and has been talking to him about sex and I kind of feel like she wants to see if she would be better than me at it and who better to judge than the one who first had sex with me? 
I have tried to explain to my ex why I don't want him to let this go on, but he doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me, and this is making me wonder..... Am I crazy for not wanting them to try anything? I just don't think I could be friends with either one of it happened....... 
By the way, in her Facebook messaging to my ex, my friend has been saying stuff like how she was jealous of me when I was with him and how she wanted what I had, but she never even hinted at that to me..... And she doesn't treat her boyfriends very well and I don't want him to get hurt again, which I know is what will happen with her..... Obviously she isn't on the up and up if she's talking about stuff like this to any man when she's in a committed relationship with someone else.

Edit: I know to a lot of people, losing your virginity isn't a huge deal, but I grew up in a Christian home and was taught that sex before marriage was wrong, so at 20 when I lost my virginity and had sex, that was a huge deal. That's why this is such a big deal to me now.

Answer

It's girl code and she's breaking it. Totally understandable.

Answer

I don't think that's crazy. As a friend you just don't go near your friends ex's. Period.

Answer

To me, it seems pretty irrational of you to feel that way. It's their lives. If he wants to hangout with her, have sex, etc. That's his choice to make. And if she wants him because you had him, then she is unhappy and looking for happiness. She probably won't find it with him but maybe she needs to learn rhat herself. You can't control people and it does make it seem like you're still in love with him which might upset your husband.

Answer

If you're happily married you really shouldn't invest all this time into their business..

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I get that would be kind of awkward but really you are married and it's her choice who she wants to have sex with and you don't really have a right to say if that's okay or not.

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I would be weirded out if my friend dated any of my exes lol

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I'm just trying to understand when, how, and why any "Best" friend would want to do that? Umm. 🙄🤔

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I am happily married and I have 1 ex that my best friend could never date cause I was totally in love with him and the only boy before my husband that I dated that I cared about a lot. And she has a ex that is off limits to me. I am in love with my husband and I would never go back to my ex but it would hurt really bad and I wouldn't be able to be around my friend us she dated my ex so I can understand

Answer

First- yes it's very weird. But also- how do you know she's doing all this? Is she writing to him and then showing you the sent messages? Is he showing you her messages? Just my opinion- if she's showing you her messages she's even more of a weirdo. It's like she's trying to hurt you.

Answer

I don't think that you are crazy for having those feelings. Having sex is very intimate. You gave part of your heart away to that man. It is understandable to have those feelings. 
However, with that being said, both of you have moved on - you're married to another man. Don't let your ex and friend ruin any friendships or have hard feelings towards another. Let them do what they choose to do - even if that means that your friend may hurt him down the road. Who knows, maybe one day they'll get married. 
This may all seem like a big deal now, but later in life, it will seem so small.

Am I Crazy?

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