Okay so I am currently not engaged yet, but am hoping soon. The reason I'm saying that is because I have been trying to find ways to help my relationship grow and prosper. A couple of weeks ago I started noticing my boyfriend becoming angry and annoyed towards his mom, his brother, and also me. The biggest part that I really noticed was his lack of enjoyment for praising God. So I decided I wanted to find a way to change him. So I confronted him. I told him how he was being mean to me, blaming me, getting aggravated and so forth. Little did I know that all of that was WRONG. I can't change him only God can. I can only change me. So I asked the Lord to help me change so I can lift my man up. Throughout the weeks my church did a sermon called "XOXO" and it was divided into 5 parts. Part 1 taught me: Everything will lack if God isn't first, marriage is a covenant not a contract. Part 2: a wife/fiancée/girlfriend supplies his childish ways by cleaning his mess, providing his snacks and video games and that must stop if you want a MAN. Part 3: respect him at ALL TIMES because Jesus didn't say respect your husband when you feel like it or he did this or that. Ask what his day looks like and help him stay positive. Complement him on his smile or shirt (anything). Cut back on complaints. Disagree respectively. HE IS NOT A MIND READER LADIES. We must fill up our love tank to watch our relationship grow. Part 4: 4 things ruin a relationship (1) criticism (deeper than complaining) (2)contempt (belittling someone in a light way by huffing, eye rolling, or crossing arms) (3)defensiveness (refuse to admit your wrong) (4) stonewalling (when you give up and walk away). No matter what may be going or has gone wrong in your marriage God says he will release GRACE to fight for your marriage. To make your marriage work you need (1)repentance (2)forgiveness. Part 5: you must grow you garden (marriage) by (1)LEAVING everyone doesn't mean family and friends but it means those come second to your husband) (2) HOLD ON tight (you can't go into the relationship or marriage thinking that if it gets hard you will just leave) (3) understand you are both two people but together as one person. Marriage is like a garden. It can become a paradise but you have to work on it and trust God to help let him help, or it can become dead and have weeds.