I got pregnant almost three years ago (not trying) and my ex was so abusive that I knew I couldn't keep it. That's how I left him, it pushed me to the edge and finally made me understand that there was no hope. I couldn't let a child grow up in such a terrible home.... But I still cry, I still hurt from not being able to have a baby I wanted. The abortion wasn't because I didn't want it, it was because it didn't deserve an abusive father (as I had grown up with. It didn't need the pain I suffer) I know I did the right thing for its future... But it still hurts... And now I'm trying with my new fiancee and I can't conceive and it hurts so so bad because I had to say goodbye to the one I could have had. I'm crying writing this but it hurts me every day... I know I made the right choice for its future but now I am incredibly sad because my amazing fiancee and i want a baby so bad..