Going through Postpartum Depression

Adina • I`m 24 with a 2 year old boy and another on the way. Married for 3 yrs.
I'm 22, married, first time mom & am in love with my son, Lucas! 👶🏾 My husband is amazing and helps out when he's not working his 12 hour shift. Taking care of a newborn alone is definitely hard. I give you single moms and dads mad props!! I started feeling sad that my husband had to leave us to go to work bc I just wanted him there. I was crying bc of that and bc I am a worry wart. I worried myself to death stressing about whether the baby was in pain, if his cord was goin to heal correctly, if his circumcision was goin to heal correctly, being gentle w diaper changing, and just overall sad. I'm still sad bc I haven't eaten in days (no appetite and not hungry) I wanted to breastfeed but bc when baby came out his temp was low they had to take him to the NICU right away and I didn't get much skin to skin. My colostrum just came in a day ago and baby's been here for 6 days but he won't latch and I've already introduced him to enfamil gentle ease in a Dr. Browns bottle so I'm going to have to keep him on it. Plus since I can't bring myself to eat or drink, I have no nutrients to supply him w good healthy breast milk anyway (but I'm trying — trust me!. Right now I'm sad bc I just love my baby and I have this urge to cry about literally nothing smh. My baby is so sweet he never cries unless he's hungry and sleeps all day long. I just want the best but things haven't been going as planned ever since delivery day (having to get pitocin and epidural when I wanted to be natural) and more. Long story abt the whole delivery thing. I've been going over a family members when my husband is gone and it has really helped. I just hope I can get over this. I really can't wait to see my sweet boy at 1 so he can be walking in his own lol. I love newborn but it's H A R D!!