My partner is starting to resent me I think. He promised me he wouldn't watch porn anymore but broke that promise many times and wonders why I accuse him of watching it. Him watching porn and masterbating instead of having sex with me has ruined any confidence I had. All I can think about is how disgusting I am. 

He knows I'm depressed but I need him there for me. I need to feel wanted and loved. I don't need him telling me anything he does is none of my business because that's not true! You made it my business when you got with me! 

I just fucking can't. All I want to do is kill myself. I'm nothing. The only thing I've accomplished in my life is have a kid. I haven't done anything else and have nothing to my name. My boyfriend always has to point out how everything's his. His house. His car. His groceries. Like ugh... I feel like nothing. I started cutting again and I just want to go as deep as I can and let myself go. 

They'd all be better off without me in their lives nagging and being a cunt all the time. I have no friends and live in the middle of nowhere. I have nothing absolutely nothing... Sorry just ranting... I mean, I thought of leaving this relationship because it isn't good for either of us but what would I do then! I'm stuck in this relationship. Everytime he threatens to kick me out or leave me I get so scared. I have no money no job no car I don't even have my ducking liscense. I'm just a worthless piece of shit..