With tears un my eyes and my heart heavy I say that

I'm done i am no longer going to try any more I have took my last test and got my last disappointment. I'm so done... I know I should have hope but that has gone out the window with that last test.

All I have ever wanted was to give my mother & twin a child from me but I have done something wrong in my life and the one blessing that I want so badly I will not be having. I can get all the baby names out of my head cause it will NEVER happen.

I want be making the big I'm pregnant announcement to you all or my family and I'm the one to blame for it no one else. I may be picking up baby clothes but just not for me. I want be going to any doctors appointment or awaiting my little bundle of joy. All i feel is Disappointment sadness resentment to my own body.

More questions then any answers. I know I said all of this last month but when u hold on to a little hope and still be let down another month what do you do? How are you to feel When all you want is your very own family ?? What do you do when you want to hold on to hope when its all you think you have lift? What do you do when all you have done has even gone wrong ???