Weight 😭

Since me and my boyfriend have been together (almost a year).  I have gained between 30-40lbs 😞.  I am so upset and ashamed of my body.  He loves me and thinks I'm perfect but I just feel like a fat lard.  Also in that year I graduated high school started and completed college.   Since graduating I've been trying to eat better.  No pop, eating less. Exercise when I have time.   It's just really upsetting 😔