Jealousy ? Am I over reacting

Question

My boyfriend is amazing and truly loves me with all his heart and treats me with the upmost respect. I have had two kids and I'm size 14 but I do have extra skin and stretch marks from my pregnancies so I am overly self conscious of my body! I have very low self esteem sometimes. 
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​Ok so sometimes when we are out shopping I notice him staring at other girls and they're all real skinny, perfect bodies and very pretty. I will look at him as he's doing it so he knows I see him. Then he will get kinda embarrassed and smile knowing I saw him. But it really makes me feel so insecure and It causes me to have melt downs and get upset because I'm trying so hard to lose weight and I feel like I am not good enough or he wants better. 
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​I have no self esteem and I work out everyday and it helps a little. But I still see all these skinny perfect body ladies that have had kids. Makes me so jealous. 
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​So am I over reacting?  How can I feel better about this. I don't get why I'm like this. He adores me and thinks I'm beautiful. And wants to marry me But I'm not beautiful like the skinny girls. It has even caused multiple arguments as well. 
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Answer

Hello, well I am the mom of 6 and 2 angels. At my biggest I weighed 322 lbs. I totally understand where you are coming from. Im happy to hear that your SO reassures you of his love for you the way he does; however you need to do something for YOU that makes YOU feel sexy and fulfilled. Your mans words are great but you shouldn't base your self esteem on it, because God forbid it doesn't work out, you will be crushed. Find your inner sexy and you will feel so much better. :-) <3

Answer

My husband stares at womens rear ends... I do not have a rear end.. it is very upsetting because he is SO blatant about it. He doesnt even realize he is staring. 
I lost my marbles about this one time and it WAS NOT pretty. I was hysterical because I had had enough of it blatantly happening. Do it when I am not next to you, wear sunglasses, anything.. lol.. so I dont see it.
My husband then said this to me.
"I love you, I am with you, I am 36yrs old and have been like this since I was old enough to look at girls/women. I dont even realize that I am doing it." So I asked him why the hell he even approached me in the begining and pursued a realationship with me KNOWING that I do not have the type of rear end he obviously looks for in women.  He says, "I look at them but I come home to you. I pursued  you because you are very pretty, can be sexy, we laugh a lot and love the same things. I see them and I see an ass, when I look at you I see my heart and the woman I love above even myself. The fact that you make me NOT want to jump off a bridge and you put up  with my shit, is just a bonus."
Not the most romantic... but he is a keeper. 
It is still upsetting, and he knows that.. but he tries to make sure that I feel sexy, that he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. I am a VERY emotionally high maintenance person.. I dont need money.. I need love... and he does a damn good job of it.
Talk to him. He loves you, he loves your body. It is tough, but maybe you need a little more assurance from him out of the blue.. 
Good Luck, and You ARE beautiful.

Answer

You need to remember that your size does not determine your beauty! He is with you and although he looks you are the one he goes home with everyday. I would let him know that it bothers you, but also I would work on finding ways that you can raise your self esteem. I believe that all women battle with self esteem issues at one time or another so don't think that you are alone!! ❤️

I don't think he means to hurt you in anyway either. I believe it is a natural reaction of humans. I catch myself looking at attractive men without even noticing it and it isn't because I'm not attracted to my husband.

The fact that you work out everyday is awesome! You should feel like a bad ass!! You go girl!! ❤️ xoxo

Answer

He can look but in the end, you are who he chose. ;-) you're beautiful how you are, and you're a mother which makes you even more beautiful. Plus..Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and she was a sex bombshell! Whenever I feel self conscious of my weight that is who I think about, and then I tell myself most men like curves!

Answer

Hubs and I have an unspoken rule. I don't care about him staring. But if I catch him staring with me right next to him, he will sleep on the balcony that night (figuratively of course). I get that guys are visual beings and they are attracted to pretty things. However, I've told him before that I feel disrespected when he stares at other girls with me right next to him. Sometimes the girls know it and they give me a smug look. This makes me damned angry. It's not even about jealousy. I know those girls are nothing. It's about respect from the man next to me.

Answer

There is no such thing as a perfect body. We all have dodgy bits. I am a dark haired brunette my man always looks at blondes. ALWAYS. It makes me insecure. I talked to his sisters and they both say he has never dated a blonde but his momma was blonde and she passed away when he was 17. I think he always looks for her.
Just ask him about it. Don't wait for a melt down. Ask him if he knows how this makes you feel.

Answer

Oh but you know what, I just saw your profile picture and I think you are really pretty. Cheer up and chin up!

Answer

Yes, over reacting, but that's totally natural. If a totally handsome dude walks by, it's getting my attention, whether I even realize it or not. My guy checks other ladies out, but usually makes some statement about poor clothing choices. Like someone else said, a pretty face/nice ass/nice rack/whatever is great, but you're the one he comes home to because you've got what he wants. Remember that.

Answer

I would be upset too! The least he could do is try to hide it, rather than blatantly check out other women.

Answer

Believe me hun even if you were skinny and a super model, men would still look at other girls. Its their nature. Try to not hassel a lot cause you will brake your self down. Every one is beautifull in his own way dear.xxx

Jealousy ? Am I over reacting

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