The waiting game....

Kiele
I had my IUD removed in October, had super heavy periods with lots of clotting for the next month or two, then it went normal, and NOW I start spotting (only wiping blood, never having any in my underwear) a week after ovulation (a week before my period is due) I spot for a week then I start my period as expected 7 days later. This time I did all that (spotting a week prior to and starting on the day I was supposed to) but I only had a period for one day. Yesterday and today there is no blood at all. So my body just doesn't want me to be pregnant right now I guess. I'm extremely frustrated because you can't get "help" from a doctor until it's been a year of trying and I know I'm not regular now because of all this random spotting and now this month basically a missed period...I thought maybe I was having implantation bleeding (because for a couple days it was more brown than red) so I took a pregnancy test and that sucker gave me one line right away!! It didn't even have to think!!! Kills me! So anyways, I'm frustrated and I don't know what else to do...wait...I guess...I hate waiting...specially when there's no way for me to hurry this process along. 
Oh and more random things helping me be frustrated, I'm 25 and my husband will be 40 in a few months, so he's going to be an old dad if we don't get pregnant soon. My only friend lives 3 hours away from me, I had a coworker friend but that is now hard because I was laid off from my job a month ago and still can't find another one....(I even applied with my moms company and I never got a call back...I now applied with my dad's company and I can't get a freaking call back!!) so I feel very worthless. A person who can't get a job, basically has no friends around and can't get pregnant, great, I sound like a real winner. My husband has been wonderful throughout this whole process but I feel like he deserves so much better than I can give him. Oh and to top it all off, I'm having the worst nightmares tonight, so it's 3:03am and I've been up for a little over an hour because every time I close my eyes to go right back into the nightmare. 
Sorry for all my bitching, I know there's people out there with much worse going on in their lives, but I just feel worthless and I'm very frustrated and upset.