Still hiding that we are pregnant.

I'm now 15weeks and 5days pregnant. And we still haven't told Anyone! ( ok my best friend knows) I keep wanting to tell but just can't bring myself to tell anyone. A few reasons are this our 9th baby :) my husband thankfully works an amazing job so we can afford it. Next reason we miscarried in October, and I have had this feeling from day one something is wrong or the baby will not be alive next time I see the OB. Also our cousin just announced that they are expecting a baby also. They lost a baby when he was a few months old about two and a half years ago. So now I feel like if we say anything we will look like we're trying to one-up them or something I don't know. They are due with a baby girl one week before me.. I just hate hiding it and I feel like I cant even enjoy my pregnancy.. I'm not sure really why I'm writing this post other than to I guess just say what's on my mind.