Does anyone else deal with this? Personal.

Question

My mom is a drug addict. She left my sister and I to live on our own when I was 16, and my sister was 14. Since then, she's been constantly in and out of our lives. She has put us in HORRIBLE situations that she should honestly be in prison for, and shes just the absolute opposite of what a mother should be. I don't really have anything to do with her but I'll reply when she checks in with me every once in a while. I used to allow her to stay with us, I'd give her money, etc. it took me years to put my foot down. 
I want to be the best mother I can possibly be, and I hoped, but did NOT expect, that she might change a little for the better since hearing that I'm pregnant. I worry about motherhood, because my mom started out as a loving, awesome mother and it didn't change until I was 15. It was out of the blue which made it worse. (She had always used drugs but she never let it affect her parenting like that.) I don't worry that I'll do something that destructive, I just want to be the best mother possible.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else deals with parents that use drugs? Sometimes I feel pretty alone in this. 
Im genuinely sorry if it makes people uncomfortable that I'm being so personal!

Answer

My dad is a recovering drug addict an alcoholic and thankfully has been sober for 14 years now. I thought I had moved past everything that happened when I was growing up but since my daughter was born in May feelings I never knew I had about my dad has come up. I have had horrible anxiety and depression for the last few months. I finally went to see a dr about it all and she explained that because I now have a daughter, things that happened (even things I didn't remember) have come back up because I am now in the parent position. It was such a relief to know that there is a reason behind the depression and anxiety. I'm going to keep seeing a therapist and just try to be the best mom I can and work through this. Also my sister just went to rehab and my niece and nephew told me about some absolutely terrible things she did while drunk. It has absolutely broken my heart because I would never want my daughter to feel the way my niece and nephew have. And I am so sad for them that they had to go through that

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You will be the best mother you can be to your children just remind yourself that you dont wanna set the same example she put you and your sister threw I'm sorry that happened to you with your mom No One Is Perfect

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My dad was a drug user, he drove my mom to the point where she left him and she took me and my siblings out from that home we shared once as a family, I was 6yrs old at the time now I'm 29 and I have never seen my dad again ever since that one night my mom left him.. It was pretty rough growing up with out him but I'm thankful my mother protected us from him as an example! I don't hate him at all!! OK pray for him always.. Your not alone!

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My parents both do drugs. They started when I was 5. My dad became extremely abusive until I was 16 and finally took a stand for myself. They still to this day so drugs so they are not involved in my daughters life

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My father was an alcoholic. My parents got divorced when I was about 2/3. We stopped visiting him around the time I was 6 because I was afraid with him. I'd find him passed out naked in the tub, or just doing things that made me extremely uncomfortable. After that, he was basically out of our lives... No child support, and resented us for needing money when we were broke.
Of course being a single mother was hard, but my mom was a strong woman. However, once I was 17 and moved out and went to college (mind you, she did not pay for any of it) she was constantly guilt tripping me into giving her 100's of thousands of dollars. Of course, she's my mom, so I'd help her... Of course, that put me in debt too. She is horrible with money. She doesn't drink or do drugs (the occasional pot isn't a big deal) but she is calling me at least once a week now for money (I'm 24 now). Since my dad died I got an inheritance and some how, even though she hadn't been with him in 20 years, she feels entitled to some, or entitled to ask me for money and guilts me into giving it to her... I've tried so hard to put my foot down. So congrats to you for being able to!

Answer

Wow wow. When I read your post I felt so amazed. I want to share my story with you if u don't mind... My mother was a fun loving mom up until i was between the age 4 and 6. My Lil sister was born when I was four. Any way sometime around all that she began taking drugs. My dad truely loved her and tryed n tryed to make her stop the drugs. He came home to Us girls being dirty and unfed. My dad finely left my mom n we went n lived with my dads parents my grandparents. I didn't much see her again until I was about ten years old. She tried visitations with us through court order but failed to keep the rules so therefore they got discontinued. During our visits tho she would try to bribe us to come live with her. It was a hard place for Us young children to be in. So then I didn't  have anything to do with her. But I graduates when I was 17 and I wanted her to attend the ceremony. I invited her and it went well. Until she started bad outhing the people who helped raise me. I'm 18 now and got married just this February at age 17 she has been okay but still bad mouthes my family and people that ran the most to me. And she tries to get me to do things she knows I wouldn't do because I believe are wrong .... But I keep hoping she will get better and that some day we can have a better relationship. And what you said on being worried about turning out to be a bad mother like ur mom... I have had these same feelings about myself. But if we have strong will to be a good mother than we will. We both have examples of what we definitely don't want to be to our children. So therefore we should be able to love our children and do the very best we can with them... Sorry for such a long post🙈

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Thank you very much. That means a lot to me. I just read your comment, I apologize for the late response, I don't come on here often. Xoxo 💖☺️

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No my parents weren't drug addicts. But they were sober violent child molesters that I had to live with all my life. I'm definitely the opposite of them and I don't let them around my kids. I was able to fight the demons with therapy and seeing a psychologist because it was VERY difficult. They were there physically but not there emotionally or mentally. I raised two great kids, my son is almost 17 in honors and taking college classes during his junior year and my daughter is 8 doing awesome (although she's special needs and that is a whole other story). God is good and I believe that you will do wonderfully with your child. Believe and trust in yourself, and ALWAYS stay away from ANY drama or negativity. That will just pull you down. You will do awesome, try not to worry too much. Remember, if you need help, there are many people out there willing to help. Hugs & love to you

Does anyone else deal with this? Personal.

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