I feel like this depression will never end. I hope it does, but it dont feel like it. Every day is new, everyday is diffrent. Right now im upset with my best friend... when I was pregnant I was crying to her one day about how scared I am (unplanned pregnancy) known her for 16 years, she told me to suck it up and figure it the fuck out and that im gonna be a mom so id better accept that... but she was happy for me none the less... when I went into labor she was soooo excited, but instead of coming to see me on her day off she went out of town (further than my hospital) to see her ex and get high with him, then she wanted to come by at 7 pm the first night I got back... ummm no thanks.. then fast forward to my grandmothers passing... I went to see her (the friend) the day after then went home, expecting a call from her... nope nothing she never called or texted me, but she could post pics of partys she was going to.... I would have just liked and invitation I would have said no because she is dating my ex but I would have liked a choice... was done so freaking done I was so tired of trying to keep all my friends but they were not trying at all... I feel alone and unwanted I feel like a burden... all my son does is crys.. and I have ZERO adult interaction a week.... and not one fucking person cares... I day dream about running away.. but of course I dont have anyone anywhere... my family is small 4 people in all.... all I have is my son and fiancé. My dad calls every once in a while... but I can tell he is disappointed that I dont have a job... (cant afford daycare so im a SAHM).. I call my mom but she drinks a lot so the conversations are always about her bitching... I wanna move away where no one knows me but out of 5 grandkids my dad only gets to see mine.... so I feel guilty... so I havent left. Right now I just want my son to take a nap... we tried to appy for a mortgage loan... around here pickings are slim so we picked a fairly nice place applyed and it would be too much a month..... everythings gotta screw me... Im sick of it.. just for once I would like for things to go my way... and for my son to stop crying... thats about to drive me bonkers....