Baby, mama, daddy drama!

Alexis
I can't believe I'm about to share this but I really really need some help! 
I'm a Christian, my boyfriend doesn't identify as a Christian but he believes in God. We got pregnant, I repented and we've both been working on fashioning our lives so that we can raise our child the way God intended. We had plans to get married and move in together before baby was born. 
Now, 30 days before baby's due date we still aren't married and my BF is saying he feels forced and rushed to get married but he still wants to move in together. I don't want to do anything else that is against God's word but I feel bad breaking up my family too. I feel like I owe it to my daughter to give her a whole family. My BF and I have been together for years and we've talked about marriage before all of this happened. He still wants to marry me but he thinks we need to get to know eachother more and not rush it just for the baby bc that would be getting married for the wrong reason. I think if we want to get married anyways in a few years y not step up be responsible and do it now to create a more stable life for our child.
On top of that, if we don't move in together me and baby don't have anywhere to go. I currently live with my mom, sister, and brother in a small 2 BR apt and my mom was willing to move to a bigger place but I assured her it wouldn't be necessary. And now it's too late and there is literally no room to move the baby in. 
My pastor hadn't seen my BF in years and he asked to meet him again when I told him that I was pregnant. My BF was hesitant but he told me he would do it for me. Every time I bring it up he makes an excuse as to why this isn't a good time for him.
I don't mean to make my boyfriend sound like a bad guy so I should tell his side of the story too. He has always been transparent with me about his views on religion. We got together in HS seperated after the first year of college and recently reconnected. He reached out to me curious about Christianity and That's how we got back together. Since we got pregnant only 1 month after reconnecting he was still figuring out where he stood with Christianity but my family being very religious has hounded him with rules and regulations and sorta scared him off. He tells me all the time he wants to do the right thing but there's so much pressure on him to do what other people think is right & its clouding his judgement. 
I have no idea what to do. Two scriptures run through my mind everyday. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" and "for the unbelieving husband is made righteous bc of his wife"
275 views • 0 upvotes • 7 comments

COMMENT (7)

Su

Posted at
Do things the right way. Just like you can't force him to marry you. You shouldn't be forced to move in with him especially when you know it's contrary to gods word. For its better to marry than to burn. You already know if you move in together y'all gonna be back having sex. Don't put yourself in a position to fail and fall into sin 

Su

Sunshine☀️☀️ • Mar 21, 2016
Thank you very much.

Je

Je • Mar 21, 2016
Great advice! 👍

Kr

Posted at
The pressure is scaring him. Give him some space and time to think. A divorce is much harder than being an unwed mother. Let God work on his heart, and you focus on you and the baby until he figures it out. Stick by your ideals, but don't try to force him to or else you may end up pushing him further away. Besides which, a marriage that someone feels forced into is not a Godly marriage. Try to look into resources for places for you and the baby to live until he makes up his mind, if it even takes him that long to do so. He already says he wants to do the right thing. You can't force others to do what you want, but you can let them realize that they want to do those things and it is much more valuable that way.

M

Posted at
I understand you want to do the right thing, but forcing a marriage on these circumstances is not the best decision. I've seen the damage from my brother and SIL. Marriage isn't a fix all. As the other comment said, divorce is much harder to face than being an unwed mom. Let him marry you because it is truly what you both want, not out of obligation. The deed is already done, getting married doesn't justify or take away that you got pregnant. 

M

Posted at
My brother and his wife got married at  8 months pregant. Worst thing ever, they are like two 13 year old girls, so much drama. Marriage isn't a fix all and it isn't something you should do so you feel on in Gods eyes, because that ship sailed when you had sec and got pregnant. His knows your heart and he wants you to get married for the right reasons. It's not a good way to start out a marriage feeling forced.

Ma

Posted at
There's a lot of ladies on glow who have been living with their boyfriend for 10 years hoping for a wedding. I'm sure you do not want to become that. I think the best way is to continue to live with your mom, but stay in a relationship with him until he's ready to get married.