Should I go to my friends scan? Please help!!!!

Question

Ive been Ttc for 18 months now with no success. My friend is pregnant with her second (got pregnant easily and likes to rub it in) and she has asked me if I can go along to her first scan. I know it will be painful for me to watch because it will just make me sad for myself. I don't know whether to make an excuse and say I'm busy or tell her the truth that it will be too hard for me atm. Or am I just being selfish and should suck it up and go even though it will be hard for me? Please help!!!

Answer

Look after your own mental health, if you know it will negatively affect you, don't go. She will understand and if not, then a bit of compassion is needed on her part. I am learning it is ok to say 'no' at times, your own dignity is just as important as being a good friend :)

Answer

If you don't feel up for it just tell her the truth. I'd rather my friend told me how she really felt instead of going and not being happy for me or feeling jealous or anything along those lines. I'm sure she will understand. You don't have to put yourself in such an awkward situation because of someone else. And it doesn't make you selfish if you choose not to go.

Answer

Honestly don't think you should go if you feel a way about it .. It's not healthy for you nor her

Answer

I say if she rubs it in that she got pregnant easy when she knows you've been ttc... Don't go. Your sanity is more important and I truly believe that your outlook and stress and mood can affect your chances to conceive! She needs to understand your point of view. Be happy for her but you don't need to have you nose stuck in it at every opportunity.

Answer

I personally wouldn't go, if she likes making you feel bad but that's just me  but don't feel like you have to that's not right

Answer

Tell her through truth. A true friend would understand the pain. Personally I couldn't do it. Broke my heart when I went with my sister to see my niece and that was family.  I know everyone is different. Just because you don't go doesn't mean your aren't happy for her either ☺☺ xx

Answer

I went when my SIL got pregnant. Remember that it's not about you, is about her. If she wants your support, go.

Answer

So I just told her the truth about why I can't come and offered to support in other ways such as babysitting her toddler at my house. I explained that it would be too hard for me to hold it together and even though I'm happy for her, I'm just sad for myself atm. It was quite a long heartfelt message and she just responded with,   "All good Hun. Sorry to ask". I am beginning to wonder if she knows how insensitive she can be sometimes!!

Should I go to my friends scan? Please help!!!!

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