"Vagina shy"

Hey, everyone.

So I'm really shy about my body and it has caused issues with relationships in the past. What I'm really sensitive and worried about in any sort of future relationship(s) is having sex. I'm a virgin (adult; dancer) and have had, my entire life, very large vaginal lips. I always have heard that that means "you're a slut" and such yet I have never had sex. It really scares me to do anything "sex related" and (like I said before) has caused issues in relationships since I feel embarrassed about them. I'm wondering if anyone knows any way to make them smaller or anything? Or maybe why they're like this when "society" says they're not supposed to be?

Thank you!