Coming out?

Question

Do you think people who are LBGQT/any other group NEED to come out? I think it's stupid.  No one has to come out say they are Herero/cis....why would anyone need to confirm their preferences by coming out?  Just do you.  As a Herero female, I don't owe anyone an explanation of my choices in my personal life and I believe that for all people.

Answer

Straight people never have to announce that they're straight , so I never understood why gay people do. If my son ends up being gay, he doesn't need to tell me. All he has to do is bring his boyfriend home, I'll figure it out 😉😋

Answer

If it empowers that person. But also coming out is more than just a post on Facebook or an announcement. Every person I encounter I have to make a call for my own personal safety. I come out to the wrong person and that's it.

Answer

Considering everyone is assumed cis and straight until stated otherwise, coming out is a really simple way of stating otherwise to everyone who matters at the same time.

Additionally people get testy when they don't realize that you're not cis or your not straight, and you don't tell them. Even though it's none of their goddamn business.

Answer

No one has ever *needed* to defend being straight or heterosexual.

Since you are straight yourself, you would not understand the struggle for some.

Being a straight woman, have you ever had to explain your sexual preferences to your parents or other family members? No, you haven't.  It was "expected" you would bring a boy home one day and introduce him to your parents, family, friends as your boyfriend, fiancée, SO.

Plus, there are a ton of religious folks out there .....many different religions do not accept anything but heterosexuality.  (Please remember it's not just the church and the people inside....this expands to people with the same religious views such as family, friends, co-workers, even employers etc).

You can not even begin to imagine the feeling of self hate, loneliness, internalized demons etc many have especially when they are brought up in a specific religion their entire life to only learn their God HATES them.

You can not begin to understand, as a straight person,  the "burden" that is lifted when you come out.   And you are right, you never had to.

Answer

In a perfect world, no. On the other hand I'm thinking "representation matters". I don't want anyone to feel obligated to announce, though.

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I never really "came out". I didn't find idon't necessary. I don't like labeling myself so it wasn't important to me.

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You need to educate yourself on the history and meaning behind coming out before you tell lgbt people that there is no need for it.

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No one *needs* to give explanation or a indication to just anyone about their sexuality. I think it's more of a reach for comfort. You *want* your parents, friends and really just everyone else to accept you. We still live in a world where what goes on between consenting adults can be so frowned on that it's seen as a reason to hate others and treat them bad -to put it mildly. 
So I assume a lot of people just want to be accepted, but there may be completely different reasons they want people to know aside from finding a partner.

Answer

Mm mm. Nope nope nope. You shouldn't go there.

Prepare yourself. This may get ugly.

In an ideal and accepting world, no they wouldn't need to "come out"

But we live in a fucked up place where not everyone is accepted.

Answer

This is iffy for me.  I think people should feel comfortable talking about their authentic self, and that it can be empowering to come out.  But at the same time, I'm not a big fan of labels, and I don't think people should feel they have to announce anything about their sexuality.  If someone wants you to call them "she" or "he" or "they" all the owe us is to say that that's what they want.

Coming out?

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