I'm a foster mom, but I have never been given instructions on visitation.

Question 1- biomom changes the visitation location every other time, a park, and then a lake, then a children's museum, then a trailhead. So much driving on my part and wear/tear on my car. Is this normal? Am I allowed to request that it stop?

Question 2- biomom has requested/combined about some disturbing things. She complained that my 30 second goodbye to X for the visit is intentionally trying to hurt her, because I give him a hug, then kiss, and tell him that I love him(the same way we transition for every drop off wherever we go)when she's watching. And now I'm being asked to stop saying goodbye, just to "take him out of your vehicle and hand him over". Is this not disgusting to anyone else? So I'm only his parent when noones looking?

Question 3- if visitation ends at 7 pm, and I show up at 7 pm and she sits on the bench holding/rocking him u til 710 pm, am I at fault for ruining there intimate moment? I'm being told to sit in my car and wait for him to be brought to me as to not disturb them.

I get that I'm not his mom. I get that he will be returned if not to mom, to a relative. I get there are rules I have to follow. But little things like this are driving me insane because they all the time. Biomom got mad one time because I didn't bring him in the pants she bought for him the week prior. I'm sorry I picked him up right from school after I got off work to drive the hour drive to you with him screaming and crying in the backseat to go home.

She also requested he go to a different preschool, half days since that's all they offer. She has education rights so she's allowed to request it and it will be a requirement for me if the caseworker orders it. What do I do at that point? Im so saddened that this my first and will be my last fostering. As I can't allow this system to control every thing I do, say, think, and feel.

Adoption & foster